Category: Autobiography

Diary of a Menopausal Romcom Author

Diary of a Menopausal Romcom Author

sandybarker

Hi. If you’re new here, I’m Sandy. I’m a menopausal Gen-Xer in my mid-50s and I write romcoms.

This is the most recent photo of me (I promise) and yes, that is Sam Heughan and no, I will not stop sharing this photo

I do other things too, but the two things I want to talk about today are menopause and romcoms (but not in that order).

And if you think that mid-50s is a little old to be writing romcoms, then [spoiler alert] I’m about to blow your mind.

I know a LOT of romcom authors — a MEET CUTE of romcom authors (for that must be the collective noun, right?) — and most of the romcom authors I know are 40+, with a lot of us in our 50s and 60s – and yes, even 70s. There are a handful of 30-somethings in my (large) romcom-y circle, but guess what? They will soon be 40-somethings and very likely will still be writing romcoms.

Now why, when most romcom MCs (that’s main characters if you’re here solely for the ‘menopause’ part of today’s proceedings,) are in their 20s and 30s, are so many 40+ romcom authors doing such a brilliant job at writing romcoms people enjoy?

To address this question, I’ve prepared a list:

  • Because we’ve lived it. We’ve lived our 20s and 30s so we know what it’s like to be 20- or 30-something

That’s it—that’s the list. And sure, we may need to research the latest vernacular or stay abreast of pop cultural references, but writing the truth of falling in love and heartbreak and moving on and happily ever afters? We excel at that. Because we’ve lived it.

Now, this is not to disparage younger authors — NOT. AT. ALL. There are brilliant authors in their 20s and 30s writing hilarious and heartfelt romcoms and smashing it. Emily Henry is the reigning queen of romcoms for a reason — or one of them. Not playing favourites, I promise.

But back to the middle-aged romcom authors…

I started writing my first book — a romcom — when I was in my 40s. It sparked a series and in the final book A Wedding in Tuscany the main character turns 40 (which, as an aside, is a very sexy age so I wrote lots of sex into that book). By the time this book was published, I’d turned 53, but I was writing late-30s into the 40s and that felt authentic to me. I could draw on my (fairly) recent past.

Now I’m in my 50s, I’ve been asked to write 20-somethings (because most BookTokers — TikTokers who create content about books — are 20-something), which I can do, but feels less authentic. My publisher and I have settled on 30-something MCs, which suits us both. For now.

The thing is, middle-aged people want romcoms too (and we have the disposable income to buy them, but that’s a whole other post).

We want romcoms for us, about us — about finding love later in life when we’re established in our careers and know who we are and what we will and will not put up with, when we’re well travelled and financially secure, when we’re divorced or single parents, when we’re menopausal (or manopausal) and ache all the time, when we have good credit and can buy expensive things without it becoming a plot point, when our friendships are decades old and our college years are a distant memory…

And there are middle-aged people falling (hilariously) in love on our screens — Ticket to Paradise, Mother of the Bride, Shotgun Wedding…

So I really thought, this many books in, that I would get to write those romcoms, get to tell the stories of my contemporaries — become the Nora Ephron of the publishing world (I know, I know, in my dreams — maybe Nora Ephron’s second cousin, once removed’s barista).

But alas, no. Maybe one day when the BookTok juggernaut has had its moment and the Booktokers age out of romcoms solely about 20- and 30-somethings and the publishing world wants to find the next Kathy Lette or Marian Keyes.

Which (clumsy segue) bring me to my second topic of the day: menopause.

It’s a really unsexy word, I know, but there’s something incredible happening across the world right this very second. Gen-X is in MENOPAUSE! Well, not all of us, but the majority. Let’s just agree that it’s enough of us to launch a MENOPAUSE REVOLUTION.

We are here and we are menopausal and we are not shutting up about it. Naomi Watts has shared her embarrassing story about ripping of her oestrogen patch the first time she had sex with her (now husband) Billy Crudup and Halle Berry is telling everyone who will listen about her vaginal dryness journey. Halle Berry!

Gen-X is tackling menopause the same way we tackle everything: unapologetically, loudly, and head (fucking) on. We are educating ourselves, we are sharing our experiences, we are proudly being menopausal.

And to the younger generations of women who are coming up behind us, you’re welcome. You will not have to wander blindly into peri-menopause and menopause, having to decipher what the hell is happening to you and convince your doctor that you are not just imagining it. You will have knowledge and resources and support, because Gen-X is in the menopausal trenches right now and we are not putting up with society’s hush-hush-it’s-too-taboo-to-talk-about-menopause BS!

Phew, it felt good to get that off my chest.

Anyway, my contribution to the menopause revolution is that I wrote a book. It’s called What the Fuck, Menopause? The ABCs and WTFs of Menopause. It’s one of those laugh-out-loud gift books that you buy for your girlfriends and sisters and besties and work wives — and for yourself, of course.

I wrote it a couple of years ago when I was feeling particularly pissed off with the world (which definitely comes across in V1) and it’s gone through several iterations since. Now it’s an I-see-you-I-got-you-we’re-in-this-together kind of book — and it’s arguably the funniest thing I’ve ever written (although, my next romcom is fricking hilarious, so maybe second-funniest).

Since my agent started submitting it for publication, we’ve gotten close three times with three big-name publishers on three continents. All three editors saw what I see — this could be a bestselling book that launches an entire brand. And that the time is now. NOW!

The first rejected it because, while the 30-something editor LOVED it, her menopausal colleagues were squeamish about how unapologetically loud it was — so, Gen-Xers not being true to our generation. The second publisher rejected it because it was too close to something else they had in the pipeline — could have been bundled, could have be cross-promoted, but no.

And the third publisher has just rejected it because the menopause market is now crowded, which it wasn’t two years ago when we started shopping this around. Gah! They also want me to become a TikTok sensation in this space and then come back to them — maybe then they will publish it.

Oh, the irony of TikTok being such a strong influence over two different trajectories of my writing career when I have purposefully steered clear of it — and for no other reason than I simply cannot carve out the time to become good at something else when I am writing 3 books (each at various stages), marketing my backlist, and doing paid consulting work.

So, what next for this menopausal romcom author?

I will noodle on what to do with my menopause book — watch this space (but it won’t be starting a TikTok channel) — and I will continue to write heartfelt and hilarious romcoms, because (quite frankly) I’m bloody good at it.

And pssst… I’m also working on two non-romcoms, but that is another blog post as well.

Ciao, peeps. Till next time…

Publication Day for I Knew You Were Trouble

Publication Day for I Knew You Were Trouble

sandybarker

My latest book baby is out in the world today. I Knew You Were Trouble is the 5th and final book in the Ever After Agency series, which I started writing in November 2022 for Boldwood Books. If you’ve yet to pick it up, I’d recommend starting with Book 1 Match Me If You Can, which introduces Poppy Dean, matchmaker extraordinaire, and the cast of characters who continue throughout the series.

This one is a revenge romcom, our villain a spoilt, conniving ‘trust fund baby’ who collects fiancées like he’s making a human charm bracelet. Our heroine Kate discovers this when fiancée number two’s brother, the scrummy Dutchman Willem, shows up on her London doorstep to tell her his sister is engaged to her fiancé. Follow that?

What ensues is a deliciously fun romp revealing a third fiancée who lives in Verona, jet-setting between cities to uncover, then fix this mess, a revenge plot involving Kate’s former matchmaker Poppy, and a will-they-won’t-they, it’s-really-a-bad-idea romance emerging between Kate and Willem.

I set it in London, like the rest of the series, as well as Amsterdam and Verona, inspired by my own travels and my little homage to three destinations that featured in our 2024 sabbatical.

I absolutely LOVED living in Amsterdam. We housesat for friends over the summer, giving us time to immerse ourselves in the city and providing inspiration for a setting and a love interest. It’s such a vibrant, beautiful city and many of the locations in the book are places we went to.

We also spent time in Verona, our first trip there, and I fell in love with it. I’d already planned to include it in this book, but walking the streets, eating the incredible food, engaging with the culture and history… those parts of the book practically wrote themselves.

And the revenge plot? That idea came early on, but we wanted to leave it until later in the series as Poppy is matchmaker, not a vigilante. And yes, Poppy features in this book as she does in every other book in the series, her point of view giving us insight into the love story – almost like a narrator.

I really hope you enjoy this book. And for series readers, I’ve prepared something special, an epilogue for each of the five couples. I’ll be posting it soon, or you can have a sneak peak here. WARNING! Major spoilers for this book, so don’t read it first if you don’t like spoilers.

It Just Takes One Yes

It Just Takes One Yes

sandybarker
It only takes one yes to start a writing career. Never give up on your dream.

As a pre-teen, I started sneaking my mum’s Mills & Boon novels from her bedside table. By my teen years, she was handing over Jackie Collins and Shirley Conran, and I was devouring Sweet Dreams and Sweet Valley High books, feeding a four-books-a-week reading habit.

My love of books, and particularly romance novels, was ingrained by the time I reached adulthood, and I have read widely across the genre for years, occasionally delving into writing, but not producing anything long-form or concrete until I had an epiphany in early 2013.

I was visiting my sister in London, and on her bookshelf was Lindsey Kelk’s I Heart New York. I consumed it in half-a-day, then picked up the next and the next in the series. Three days later, I’d read all five (there are now eight), and as I finished I Heart London, I knew. I wanted to write romantic fiction―specifically, travel romances.

On paper, ‘travel romance novelist’ was a perfect fit for me. I was an avid traveller and had been blogging about it for years. I was also a hopeful romantic, a lifelong romance reader, an English major, and a Drama and English teacher, so I knew about style, structure, grammar, characterisation, dialogue, and genre.

All I had to do was get to work.

My first foray into writing travel romance caught the attention of an agent here in Australia, but when I sent him the full manuscript, he replied with ‘this isn’t your first novel, it’s your fifth’. Apparently, I had too many characters, timelines, and plotlines, and I heeded his advice to ‘go away and write a single, linear narrative’.

Inspired by my real-life ‘meet cute’―meeting my partner, Ben, on a pier in Santorini, just as we were about to embark on a sailing trip around the Greek Islands―I started writing, diverging from real life by introducing a second love interest to the story, the silver fox.

On completion, I went back to the agent and he signed me, shopping my story, which he called, ‘Eat, Sail, Love’, to all the Australian publishers. But as excited as he was to introduce them to a fresh new voice in Australian romantic fiction, no one wanted my particular take on contemporary romantic comedy. My agent had reached the end of his contact list and we parted ways amicably.

Dejected, I wondered if I would ever find my publishing home, or if my manuscript was destined to sit gathering dust. It was only after we returned from another sailing trip in Greece, that I seriously considered self-publishing. Re-energised, I edited my manuscript, paid for cover art and a copy edit, and self-published at the end of 2017. My book baby was out there in the world!

And the timing was perfect. In early 2018, Ben and I embarked on a one-year international sabbatical, which gave me ample time to write the follow ups to my first book. We started the year in Bali, then moved to the US, the UK and Portugal.

When we were in the UK, I came across UKRomChat on Twitter and joined a passionate community of romance authors. It was while engaging with that community that I started considering British publishing houses.

While I self-published book two in the series and wrote book three, I queried UK publishers. After each rejection, I honed my synopses and query letters and reminded myself that I only needed one ‘yes’.

But before I knew it, I was home in Melbourne and back to ‘real life’, hunting an apartment and a job. Could I be happy returning to my profession in adult education and being a part-time novelist who self-published one or two books a year?

Despondency kicked in when I realised that I would never achieve my goal―my dream―of becoming a fulltime novelist.

Not long after, 6 years ago today in fact, I received an email from an imprint of HarperCollins in the UK. It was my one yes. With that offer on the table, I reached out to my agent of choice, Lina Langlee, and after reading my debut, she agreed to represent me (hooray!).

Since my one yes, I’ve published 12 books with 2 publishers (plus 1 audio publisher), sold more than 250,000 copies in English and have translations in 4 languages (and counting). I’ve also written Book 13 (under contract) and 2 side projects.

And I am now a fulltime writer. It really does only take one yes. Never give up on your dream.

New Year’s Absolutions 2024

New Year’s Absolutions 2024

sandybarker

It’s hard to believe it’s that time again!

The end of 2023 and the time of year when I reflect on the year that was, mentally and emotionally prepare for the year to come, and absolve myself from a selection of ‘must dos’.

My theory is this: life is simply too short to get swept up in ‘must dos’, so why waste precious time torturing myself?

I started writing New Year’s Absolutions in 2011 when I absolved myself from losing a few pounds, buying a bike (I lived in Seattle at the time which is wet and hilly), reading Oprah Book Club selections (still stand by that one), checking work emails at home (of course, we all pretty much work from home now), and finishing a re-write of Chapter 7 of a book that will never see the light of day.

All good absolutions and now onto 2024’s …

Colouring my hair

Those who have been following me through 2023 will have noticed that I am no longer dark (honey) blonde. I am embracing my natural salt and pepper hair and by ’embracing’ I mean: I stopped colouring my hair in May and in September I spent 7 hours (and a LOT of $$$) at the hair salon to make me look like this:

I thought I would wait till my 60s, but the upkeep of being brunette, then light brown, then dark blonde (I’ve been going lighter over the past 5 years) was expensive and exhausting. Like many of my contemporaries, I’m jumping on the silver vixen train!

Joining TikTok (still)

This is a carry over from 2022 and 2021 and even though TikTok has spawned BookTok, which creates instant bestsellers, I’m still not getting an account. As an author, I am already on socials for hours every week. I don’t need to add another platform that requires a light ring and lipstick. Besides, most people who excel at producing content for TikTok, work so hard and do such a great job. Maybe one day when I’m writing fulltime, I’ll consider joining TikTok (or its equivalent), but until then I’m leaving it to the pros.

Keeping all my books

This is going to be a tough one, especially as I am a die-hard book lover (fiction, non-fiction, travel, cookbooks…) and I love creating little ‘vignettes’ on my bookshelves. But unless they’re my books (as in, I wrote them) or they are one of my favourite books of all time, in 2024, I will be letting a lot of my books go, free to good homes.

This is because in 2024, Ben and I will be leaving Melbourne for another round-the-world sabbatical. We will be offloading a lot of our furniture and belongings, and storing only the essentials for our return to Australia. A cookbook I was given in 2001 that I never read doesn’t make the list. And won’t it be fun to fill these shelves again when we return?

Giving up my Twitter (not X) profile

I loved Twitter once. I was an early(ish) adopter, so I was able to snag @SandyBarker as my username. I actively contributed to (mostly) writing communities. I posted daily. I built up my followers (nearing 7000), and it was my primary source of news and information.

Then Elon bought it and broke it like a snotty little brat.

Now I go on once a week or so and retweet my close network’s tweets and perhaps add one of my own. I look at that ugly black X and roll my eyes. And I never in a million years thought I would say this, but my new fave platform is Instagram (I know, right?). But I am not closing my Twitter account. I live in hope that Elon will get bored and sell it to someone who restores what was once good about it and elevates the platform, rather than stomping it into the ground, shoveling on a truckload of manure, and setting it on fire (Like Elon did).

Arguing with people online

There is so much to say about this…

First, I am now in my mid-50s and most women I know in this age bracket are over it. And by ‘it’, I mean ridiculous behaviour, entitlement, lies, stupidity and/or willful ignorance, rudeness, and just plain idiocy. (Noting that many friends and family members from other age brackets and genders are also over it, but I see a prevalence amongst my demographic).

And where are we exposed most to these behaviours? Online.

But here’s what I’ve learnt about people who behave badly online (not an exhaustive list):

  • They want to argue.
  • I will never convince them they are wrong/behaving badly no matter how eloquently I make my point or how correct or salient it is.
  • They believe that the (perceived) anonymity of their online identity entitles them to be their worst selves, even if they’d never do or say these things in person. I say ‘perceived’ because it is SO easy to find out who is behind the profile.
  • THEY ARE NOT WORTH MY TIME OR ENERGY.

The last one is the clincher. These people can suck the joy out of anything. DO NOT ENGAGE!

IMPORTANT: This includes people who are rude or mean when reviewing my books. I’ve said it many times: I know my books are not for everyone; I don’t expect everyone to enjoy my books. I also know that, even though I am writing my 11th book (actually 13th, as I have some side projects), I have MUCH more to learn about writing books, which is why I will continue to read and study the craft as I write.

But there is no reason to be rude or mean when reviewing my books or anyone else’s.

This year, via book reviews, I’ve been accused of plagiarism, and described as a ‘green author’ and an ‘amateur author’ (separate reviews for Books 4 and 9). And one reviewer said she hated my book with a passion, explaining how she hates authors that… [list of sins here].

You know what I say online when I don’t like a book? Nothing. Nada. Nicht. Rien. Niets. I follow the ‘Rule of Thumper’.

And, as ‘arguing with people online’ might require me to say something ‘not nice’, I absolve myself from even going there.

And that’s all for 2024, everyone.

Wherever you are in the world, I wish you a safe and happy 2024, and for some of you, I will see you soon.

Sandy x

Catching up with Author Anna Foxkirk

Catching up with Author Anna Foxkirk

sandybarker

I am delighted to welcome Anna to Off the Beaten Track, We’ve been connected on social media for several years and got to meet in person at a recent Romance Writers of Australia meet-up and she was so much fun to hang out with. And now to our catch-up…

Welcome Anna. Tell us what inspired you to write Alice and the Impossible Game?

The travel bug – for me, it’s chronic! A constant itch. I’m making that sound painful, but actually IMHO there’s nothing better than visiting somewhere new and experiencing life and culture away from my ‘ordinary’. I’m fortunate to have lived in a lot of amazing countries (Fiji, Kiribati, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Indonesia, Germany, France, Australia) and visited a whole lot more, so perhaps it’s not surprising that traveling and holidays are going to feature my stories. Plus, I’d already written my novella, Alice in Wanderlust (the prequel to Alice and the Impossible Game) pre-Covid as part of my Passport to Love series. During the pandemic writing and reading became even more important to me as they were my only means of escape when we were stuck in lockdown. The only problem was that there was a lot of angst in my first draft – not exactly romcom – so although I knew I wanted to write a road-trip romance, I had to throw it out and start again. The writing process has taken longer than ideal, but I can’t wait to share it with everyone on 1st March 2024, and sometimes the most challenging journeys reap the greatest rewards, don’t you think?

When did you start writing seriously?

Seriously? Most of the time, I try NOT to write ‘seriously’ or at least not to take myself and my writing too seriously. If I did, I think I’d shut down and not write anything. Long story short –  my dad was a published author and although I aspired to write from a young age, I didn’t think it was possible to become a published author. I knew how hard it had been for him. However, I’ve always loved to write even when it was a hobby and just for me.  When my husband and I made the big leap and moved to Australia ten years ago, I decided to give NANOWRIMO (National Novel Writing Month – when writers attempt to bang out 50k words in a month) a crack. I successfully wrote my first 50k (of drivel) which I thankfully then lost after lending a friend my laptop which she accidentally wiped –  talk about a blessing in disguise. But it showed me I could write more than just a bad first chapter. After that, I think the event which changed my perspective about becoming a published author was attending the Romance Writers of Australia Conference in 2016 and realising that I was no different to anybody else and my dreams were possible if I just stuck with them.

What do you love most about being an author?

The awesome writing community in Australia – there is so much strength and succour to be gained from the support and friendship of fellow authors. As I mentioned previously, I also love the escapism of writing: all the stress and responsibilities of real life fall away because I get so wrapped up in my creative world. I love that feeling…Unfortunately, my family don’t love and are long-suffering about the very late and often cremated dinners I create…

What are you working on now?

Final editing of Alice and the Impossible Game. A super exciting Christmas anthology project with 12 other AMAZING romcom authors for next year, but my lips are sealed and stapled for now. And also a new contemporary celebrity-collides- with- smalltown series called Rush to Stardom…

Nothing like juggling multiple balls to keep you on your toes!

What do you hope readers will take away from Alice and the Impossible Game?

Well, my author tagline is love, laughter and happy ever after, so those things are what I always try to bring to the page. But for this book in particular, the notion that nothing is impossible (within reason, of course – I’m never going to be a ballerina!). If you believe in yourself and commit whole-heartedly to your goals and aspirations, you’ll be amazed by what you can accomplish. That doesn’t mean we get everything we want in life, but if we keep believing and keep working hard, we get a whole lot more than if we lose faith in ourselves and give up. Who was it that said, The harder I work the luckier I get? They were bang on.

I couldn’t agree more, Anna. And I cannot wait for Alice in Wanderlust (great title, by the way) and that anthology!

More about Anna

Born in Fiji, Anna has spent most of her life trotting round the globe living in some far flung places such as the islands of Kiribati, Kathmandu in Nepal, Sri Lanka and Indonesia. Anna served as an officer in the British army for seven years, including four operational military tours in war-torn Bosnia and living in Edinburgh Castle. Anna’s love of adventure, romance and humor blaze a trail through her stories. Nowadays, when she’s not writing or reading, Anna enjoys a quiet(ish!) life teaching English and humanities to secondary school students, swimming, hanging out at the local yacht club, and sampling the many delicious wines of the beautiful Mornington Peninsula where she lives. What you probably don’t know and don’t want to know…Anna is a wannabe cowgirl and line-dancing tragic. It’s a work in progress…

Follow Anna

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About Alice and the Impossible Game

Alice’s gap year travel plans in Australia are scuppered on New Year’s Eve when her identical twin sister, Tilly, (aka Twister) bails and returns to the UK without apology or explanation. In a supreme effort to get Tilly back on board (and to find out why on earth she left), Alice reluctantly agrees to Tilly’s Impossible Game. But Alice never counted on Guy, the hot lead singer of Aussie band, RiffRaff, being part of the package.

Guy’s not interested in any sort of commitments other than his musical career and the future of his band, RIffRaff…oh, and his next musical gig which happens to be at his brother’s wedding. As well as being a key member of RiffRaff, Tilly had promised to be his plus one…Now she’s gone missing, he needs to find a substitute and fast.

Alice is in a fix. Travelling alone and compelled to follow the rules of her sister’s Six Impossible Things Game her life is spiraling out of control.

Guy needs a fix. A bandaid for his band and his fragile ego and a hostile-as-hell wedding situation…

But the Impossible Game looks like it might just play HAVOC with both of their best laid plans. And the only thing you should believe¾there is likely to be some collateral damage…

Pre-order Alice and the Impossible Game

Amazon US | Amazon AU | Amazon CA | Amazon UK

And catch up on the prequel, Alice in Wanderlust, now!

Thank you so much for joining us, Anna!

Catching up with Author Karen Louise Hollis

Catching up with Author Karen Louise Hollis

sandybarker

Today, I’m pleased to welcome Karen Louise Hollis to Off the Beaten Track. Her latest book is called Starting Again in Silver Sands Bay.

Book cover: Illustration of a woman and child walking towards the sea on a grassy hill with wildflowers

Tell us what inspired you to write Starting Again in Silver Sands Bay?

I was doing one of the RNA writing courses – Jessica Redland’s Writing A Novel or Series in a Coastal or Country Setting. I had published my first novel Welcome to Whitlock Close in 2022 and I wanted to write Book 2 in the series, but had lost my mojo, so I hoped the course would inspire me to get back to it.

Instead, it inspired me in a totally different way. The idea of a coastal setting took me back to our family holidays in a static caravan in Ingoldmells, near Skegness, in the 1970s and ‘80s and this whole story came to me while I was on the course – the characters and everything.

It is a romance between a fifty-year-old single mum and a 48-year-old single dad who both have eleven-year-old children. Being in my fifties myself and a single parent, I basically wrote something I’d like to read myself.

When did you start writing seriously?

I’m not really sure. I first self-published a poetry collection in 2003, but that was for family and friends really. I had a book traditionally published in 2010 and again in 2015, they are both factual books linked to Doctor Who – the first a memoir of my experiences going to conventions, the second a biography of the actor Anthony Ainley. That’s been my most commercially successful book.

When I split up from my ex four years ago, I realised I needed to take my writing more seriously. I’ve been writing gymnastics books for many years, but had never finished a novel. I became a full-time carer for my mum, so knew I had to work from home. Taking inspiration from the wonderful Chick Lit and Prosecco Facebook group and from connecting with authors online, I got some great tips and completed my first novel in 2021. One of those was to write every day and that’s something I have found really helps me to keep going. I try to write 1000 words per day.

What do you love most about being an author?

The writing really! I love having ideas and being able to share them with people. I get to know and love my characters and I want other people to discover them too. I love it when someone has read my book and we can chat about the characters like they’re real people!

When I did my recent blog tour for Starting Again in Silver Sands Bay, some of the reviews were just amazing, I could tell they’d really connected with the book and the characters. When someone just exactly gets what you’re trying to say, that’s very special.

What are you working on now?

I was working on a cosy mystery series featuring an elderly man (based on my dad) and his elderly dog, who help the village policeman solve crimes. But sadly, Dad’s dog died in real life and I haven’t been able to go back to it yet – but I will do.

So I’m currently writing a novel about two elderly women who live next door to each other. During the pandemic, they had their interconnecting back garden fence taken out, so they could have socially-distanced conversations to help with the loneliness and isolation. It’s now the present day and they still meet outside and chat, about small and big issues and things happen, which I won’t go into. But I love these women, it’s a joy to visit them every day in my head and write down what they’re doing and saying!

What do you hope readers will take away from Starting Again in Silver Sands Bay?

It’s a second chance romance, so I hope it will give hope to people who are single in middle-age. Both the main characters, Becki and Dan, have had difficult times, but meeting each other proves to them that there still is time for them to find love.

I also hope readers will enjoy an old-fashioned seaside caravan holiday through my book, a bit of nostalgia. Although it’s set in the present day, the caravan site is a bit basic and old-fashioned. But we all love the beach, an amusement arcade and a chip shop, don’t we? Simple times.

Well, thank you so much for sharing that with us, Karen.

Tell us a little more about you.

Author photo - smiling woman with straight red hair and a fringe wearing pink lipstick and a pink blouse

I was born in Lincoln, England in 1969. I loved writing from an early age, being the daughter of two journalists. I am a mum to five children and have three grandchildren. I have had over twenty books published and have written about a variety of topics including motherhood, poetry, Doctor Who and gymnastics. My first novel Welcome to Whitlock Close came out in 2022, with this latest book coming out earlier this year.

Follow Karen

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Website | Goodreads

More about the book

Becki is fifty and a single mum to eleven-year-old Jemima, after being widowed five years ago.
Dan is forty-eight and a single dad to eleven-year-old Freddie, after his wife left him five years ago.
They have both given up on love.
But when they all go to Silver Sands Bay on the Lincolnshire coast for the summer, will they be able to put the past behind them and find love again?

Buy the book

Amazon UK | Amazon AU | Amazon US | Amazon CA

New Year’s Absolutions 2023

New Year’s Absolutions 2023

sandybarker

It’s that time again! The time of year when I reflect on the year that was, mentally and emotionally prepare for the year to come, and absolve myself from a selection of ‘must dos’. Life is simply too short to get swept up in ‘must dos’, especially those I have no inclination towards.

Aside: Looking back, I realise that I didn’t do my absolutions for 2022. This time last year was not awesome for me, as was the experience for many of you. I simply wanted to make it to 2022 and do my best to get through the year with my mental health intact (like many of you).

Also, looking back at my 2019 Absolutions, I admit to failing on two counts: I have since joined Instagram and I love Beatsaber, an extremely fun VR game in which you slash musical notes as they come towards you with lightsabers (yes, really and it is just as fun as it sounds and, yes, the tech has improved on stabilisation, so I no longer get sick―hooray!).

Onto next year’s absolutions … I hereby absolve myself from:

Not reading reviews

As authors, we’re constantly told, ‘Don’t read reviews!’ This is excellent advice when you receive a bad review because, as authors know, one bad review equals 10000 excellent reviews. Bad reviews burrow into your brain and nestle there, ready to leap out when you’re feeling your most vulnerable, when you’re crippled by imposter syndrome or awaiting the email that will tell you you’ve successfully pitched your next book and it takes months.

Yet, every time one of my books comes out, I read the early reviews. Every. Review. Every. Day.

Why? Two reasons: I am a masochist and most of my reviews are positive. This means that all those hours I spent labouring over my book have been fruitful, they meant something to someone. Some reviews even induce tears―happy ones. It’s a wondrous thing to have someone gush about how much my story or my characters or my turn of phrase impacted them for the better and how much they love my book.

So, I will continue to read reviews, even the bad ones, like this for my first book, One Summer in Santorini.

Actually, that review and others like it, make me laugh. If ever there was a reason to buy a book it’s because it’s sweary and sexy. And if that’s your thing and you’ve read all mine, check out Aimee Brown.

Paying for a blue checkmark

I have been actively building my Twitter following for years now, and have previously applied for a blue checkmark (when they still meant something). I wasn’t noteworthy enough to earn one a couple of years ago but, until recently, I was still working towards that milestone. While the verified accounts of notable people and organisations are still denoted by a blue checkmark, there’s now a cheaters’ route: the option to pay for one. Blue checkmarks have become the vanity plates of social media. I may still earn one, but I will never pay for one.

Catching up on the entire Marvel Universe

There are too many Marvel movies in the MCU. There, I said it. And because there are so many (and I have a life), I’ve missed a few―Iron Man 2, something about a civil war, a Spiderman or two (even though I’m a HUGE Tom Holland fan), and both Black Panther films. And some that I have seen, I wished I’d missed them. I’m looking at you Thor: The Dark World and Eternals (seriously, though, what the hell was that movie?). I say all this with the caveat that there are some MCU films that I’ve loved. Thor Ragnarok is hilarious and Chris Hemsworth is a massive spunk, especially with short hair. I loved Black Widow because Natasha is a bad-ass (and so is her sis). And Ant-Man is just fun, because … well … Paul Rudd.

Aside: Paul Rudd is the type of guy women both want to sleep with and have as their best friend. Fortunately, I have one of those at home.

So, while Marvel has had some hits, they’ve had enough misses―I mean, is Infinity War called that because the story goes on SO LONG it took two movies to tell it???―that I am absolving myself from watching their back catalogue, and very possibly their front catalogue too. Except Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantamania because (hello?!) PAUL RUDD.

Keeping track of which show is on which streaming service

When are household AIs going to get so good, I can ask, ‘Hey, Google, what the hell streaming service is [INSERT TV SHOW TITLE HERE] showing on?’ and it not only ignores my mildly rude profanity, it replies with, ‘It’s Disney+, which you pay for and share with your mum (who shares her Stan with you), your bestie, your Aunt Jackie (who also shares your Netflix account), and your cousin’s best friend, Sharon (who shares her Amazon Prime account with you)’? That’s what the brilliant minds at Google/Apple/Amazon should be working on.

Thank god I live with (aforementioned Paul Rudd-like) Ben, who not only keeps all of this information in his head, but also 1. sources most the shows I tell him I’m dying to watch and 2. keeps and eye out for shows we can watch together―White Lotus … Yellowstone … The Bear … Call My Agent … (Thank you, Ben!)

Joining TikTok (still)

Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy the TikToks my family and friends send me. This one is the funniest thing I saw online this year and it still makes me laugh―EVERY TIME! I hope that family never has to work again for the sheer genius of filming that clip and posting it on TikTok.

BUT I already have two jobs. I work four days a week at my day job in adult education and every day as an author. I’ve published 8 books in less than 4 years and I spend 10-12 hours a week on social media and marketing. I is TIIIIRRRED. And even the thought of creating content for a new social media platform makes me queasy. The people who excel at it work so hard and do such a great job at curating and creating content. Maybe one day when I’m writing fulltime, I’ll consider joining TikTok (or its equivalent), but until then I’m leaving it to the pros.

That’s it. That’s all I absolve myself from for 2023. Wherever you are in the world, I wish you good health, love, laughter, good times with family and friends, grand adventures, and most of all, peace. Take care. Look after you. And happy reading.

Sandy xxx

Catching up with Author Pernille Hughes

Catching up with Author Pernille Hughes

sandybarker

It is my great pleasure to welcome fellow One More Chapter author, Pernille Hughes to Off the Beaten Track today to celebrate the publication of her next book, Ten Years.

My thoughts on the book

This is a highly original story that had me hooked from the very first page. The author brings to the page two real, complex and well-drawn characters that I championed all the way through. This is a true slow burn and I loved seeing how the characters evolved each time they met up – how they change as people and how their relationship evolves.

No spoilers but a VERY satisfying ending , including a lovely twist. An absolute must read.

And loving this cover!

A closeup illustration of a man and a woman kissing. 'They're perfect for each other. They just don't know if yet.'

Pernille joins us to tell us more about her and this fabulous read.

Tell us what inspired you to write Ten Years.

The book came from a conversation over lunch with my lovely editor Charlotte Ledger. Normally I write comic romances, so writing Ten Years, blending funny and sad, was something new. I’d once heard the brilliant psychotherapist Julia Samuel on the History Hit podcast talking about our
modern attitudes towards grief. She described grief as “love that doesn’t know where to go.” That idea stayed with me and certainly sat with me in the writing of Ten Years. Becca and Charlie had to see that you can’t shoo the pain away or ignore it, you have to accommodate it, find a place for it
within you.


I also had the notion buzzing in my head of ‘all magic comes at a price’ which I think I might have got from Once upon a time, the TV show? It was something that came up at the end of my last book Probably the Best Kiss in the World, where Love is the ‘magic’. I was still thinking about it here. What would the price be for Becca and Charlie? Essentially, I came to the conclusion that if you’d asked them, they’d have said the same; in losing Ally, they’d already paid upfront.

When did you start writing seriously?

In 2012 I came runner up in a competition to have a story in a Women’s Fiction short story anthology. The Sunday Times had also printed 36 short stories of mine in their Travel section (Confessions of a Tourist), and those two things combined showed me that Women’s fiction was where my voice lay. So, I started writing a full-length novel (Punch-Drunk Love) and sending it out, which got me an agent, and it was published in 2018.

What do you love most about being an author?

The writing community, especially the romance writers community. It’s so generous and supportive. There’s no need to be competitive, as we
physically can’t write the books as quickly as readers read them, and so the focus is on revelling in the love of books and welcoming other writers who want to share their stories.

What are you working on now?
A bit of a passion project, one of those that sits in your head and keeps knocking to be let out. It germinated from a guided tour through Highgate Cemetery, which I would recommend to anyone interested in British social history, or just an interesting walk on a sunny day. It’ll still be a romance of course! I’m ‘out of contract’ so who knows whether it’ll ever see the shelves, but I need it to come out now, it’s been in there too long.

What do you hope readers will take away from Ten Years?
While I really wasn’t setting out to hammer anything home, I suppose there were a few things I worked to get across; that we all grieve differently, for example, and that ‘people change’. Also, that ‘good teams’ needn’t be identical people. Becca and Charlie are wildly different, but they bring out the best in each other. That yin yang image of two-different entities ‘clicking’ together to make a working whole is one that resonates with me.

More about the book

Becca and Charlie have known each other since university.
Becca and Charlies have also hated each other since university.

Until now. Until Ally’s bucket list. The death of their loved one should mean they can go their separate ways and not look back. But completing the list is something neither of them can walk away from.

And sometimes, those who bring out the worst in you, also bring out the very best…

Over the course of ten years, Becca and Charlie’s paths collide as they deal with grief, love and life after Ally.

Where to get it

Amazon UK | Amazon US | Amazon AU | Amazon CA

Barnes & Noble | iBooks | Waterstones | WH Smith

More about Pernille

Smiling woman with shoulder length medium brown hair, held back with reading glasses on top of her head, wearing a polka-dotted black and white top and a silver heart pendant.

Before she moved to writing full-time, Pernille Hughes studied Film & Literature at university. After she graduated she went on to market Natural History films before working in Children’s television, which meant living in actual Teletubbyland for a while! From 2011–2015, she was a regular contributor for The Sunday Times column ‘Confessions of a Tourist’. She’s had two novels published to date – Punch-Drunk Love and Probably the Best Kiss in the World – and her new book Ten Years is released on August 31st 2022. 

Pernille lives in Buckinghamshire, England and while the kids are at school she scoffs cake and writes stories in order to maintain a shred of sanity. 

www.pernillehughes.com  (Free short story here!)

Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | TikTok

Catching up with Author Alana Oxford

Catching up with Author Alana Oxford

sandybarker

Today, I’m pleased to welcome author, Alana Oxford, to Off the Beaten Track to celebrate the upcoming release of her lovely romcom, Scotsman in the Stacks, which is out on June 14! And check out that cover! How sweet is that?

Cover of Scotsman in the Stacks. In foreground a librarian with a dark reddish brown bob, holding a stack of books. In the mid-ground, a redheaded man with a goatee reading on a sofa, one leg crossed over the other. The background is the silhouette of books.

Now let’s chat to Alana …

Tell us what inspired you to write Scotsman in the Stacks?

The very first seed of inspiration for this story is the real-life love story of my friend, Karen, and her husband, Rhys. Karen and I were both working as circulation clerks at a public library when a good-looking guy with a delicious accent walked in and asked Karen how to get a library card. After that, he came in all the time to talk to her. The whole staff got to know him and he was so kind and friendly to all of us, but it was clear from the beginning that he and Karen had something special.  They always said I should write their story someday. And here we are, quite a few years since they met. They’re happily married with kids and are still the love of each other’s lives. Scotsman isn’t the Karen and Rhys story, but their adorable relationship inspired my fictional exploration of how a beautiful international romance can be sparked at the library.

When did you start writing seriously?

Ever since 2nd grade, I loved to write and knew I wanted to be a writer someday. My wake-up call came when my daughter was born. At that time, I had a lot of ideas for picture books in my head and I remember sitting on the couch with her, reading a board book and thinking, “Awww, one day I’ll be reading my own books with her.” Then it dawned on me. What books was I planning to read with her? I wasn’t actually writing them down. How would they ever exist if I didn’t put my dreams into action? So I started right then and there – yes, with a new baby in the house. I wrote while she napped. On the good writing days, my husband would do the bedtime routine so I could squeeze in some more writing time in the evenings.

My first book came out in 2011. It was a digital picture book written under a different pen name, and I haven’t looked back since.

What do you love most about being an author?

I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t telling stories or enjoying books. My favourite thing is when I see a review from someone who really enjoyed my work. It’s that connection with readers that makes it all so special. An idea from my mind, that I worked on, usually for years, has resonated with someone who doesn’t know me. It’s mind-blowing every time.

What are you working on now?

I have a few things fighting for dominance of my writing time right now. I’ve been working on a women’s friendship story on and off for a few years now. I’m also working on a short story. Then, as writer brains love to do, I got hit with a quirky cast of characters who just popped into my mind and said, “Write about us. Now!” I couldn’t think about anything else until I grabbed my notebook and pen and started taking notes on who they are and what their story might be.

What do you hope readers will take away from Scotsman in the Stacks?

It’s been a very difficult couple of years for everyone. I finished my first draft of this book in March 2020, just before the world shut down. All of my revising and editing took place in the throes of lockdowns, virtual life, and near-constant worry. The world was an uncertain, difficult place with new brands of terrible news everyday. I want my book to put the opposite energy out there. I purposely wrote this book to be a low-angst, happy place for readers. It’s meant to be a feel-good love story to escape into for a little while.

More about the book

Paige wants two things: to land a full time librarian job and find the man of her dreams. On the cusp of thirty, she finds herself suddenly single and working part-time in a Michigan library. A handsome patron with a delicious accent appears at the reference desk, inadvertently sparking an idea that might help her land the promotion she so desperately needs. But that’s not the only thing he sparks.

James is in town from Glasgow, Scotland, on a summer artist residency. Luckily, the trip got him away from the pressure he feels to take over his uncle’s river tour business. He only wanted to clear his head and make his art in peace, but he wasn’t counting on finding an attractive librarian to fill his days.

With only eight weeks before James goes home to Scotland, Paige knows she should protect her heart. After all, she already wasted years with her commitment-phobe ex. But the more she gets to know James, the less she can stick to her plan to just be friends. Is she just wasting her time again, or can they bridge the ocean between them to find a happily ever after of their own?

Where you can pre-order:

Readers who pre-order, can win a fun prize pack – see details on Alana’s website (link below).

Amazon UK | Amazon US | Amazon AU | Amazon CA

Kobo | iBooks | Nook

More about Alana

A smiling woman with straight brown hair that falls just below her shoulders. She is wearing pink lipstick, a stripy shirt (vertical, various shares of pink) and glasses.

Alana Oxford is a Michigan author of romcoms, sweet romance, and humorous women’s fiction. She wants her stories to bring sunshine and smiles to her readers. She enjoys improv comedy, moody music, everything book related, and has an ongoing love affair with the United Kingdom.

Follow Alana

Twitter | Instagram | TikTok | Website

Thank you so much for being on the blog, Alana, and wishing you all the best for the launch of this book.

Guest blogger: Authors for Mental Health – Lucy McLaren

Guest blogger: Authors for Mental Health – Lucy McLaren

sandybarker

Welcoming Lucy McLaren to Off the Beaten Track today to wrap up the Authors for Mental Health blog series. Lucy is a fantasy author and professional counsellor, who is passionate about writing stories that include a realistic representation and exploration of mental health issues. Her debut novel, Awakening: The Commune’s Curse Book 1, releases on 1st May 2022 with Santa Fe Writers Project.

Over to Lucy…

How to implement positive mental health practice in your writing routine

As a writer and counsellor, I am really interested in the ways in which we can implement and explore mental health both within our stories and our lives. Writing is arguably a challenging pursuit, especially if you’re submitting your work out to various people and publications. The inevitable rejections that will come rolling in are bound to have an impact on anyone, no matter how thick their skin. In this post, I’ve collated some tips and advice that may help if you’re a fellow writer (or even if you’re not; this can really be catered to anyone) who sometimes finds yourself struggling with aspects of your mental health.

Comparison to others

This one can be tough, especially if you’re part of the many writing communities on the various social media platforms. Being part of these communities can be incredibly helpful, allowing you to find like-minded individuals, friends and readers who will support you in your journey. But with this comes the other writers sharing their journeys too—both their rejections and their successes. If you see a fellow author has a success, you’re likely to feel pleased for them, of course, but it can also lead to feelings of frustration, stress or anxiety. Research has found that social networking sites can negatively impact upon mental well-being because of the resulting feelings of envy that come from social comparisons (Krasnova et al, 2013; Lee, 2020).

So what can we do to counter this inherent urge many of us have to compare ourselves to others? Hagan (2015) suggests that rather than comparing ourselves to others, we could try comparing ourselves to our past selves, otherwise known as temporal comparison (Stuart, 1977). Utilising this method allows us to set goals for ourselves and see how far we’ve come, which can be really helpful for a writer. Perhaps you could compare a first draft of work to the current version, noticing the improvements in your craft. Perhaps you have written more short stories, received positive feedback from beta readers or met some great writer friends online. Whatever you may find through your temporal comparison, it is bound to be a more positive experience for your mental health because you are focused inwardly and not on comparing yourself to other people and their experiences, which will never be the same as your own. You will be able to keep focusing on what you want to achieve in your writing, realigning where necessary, and taking the little steps towards your bigger goals.

You might find doing the following will assist you in keeping on track (and away from those pesky comparisons):

  1. Keep a journal noting down your hopes and dreams for your writing.
  2. Note down whenever you accomplish a certain goal such as meeting a word count or completing a story.
  3. Remind yourself of the positives such as feedback from otherwise and what you enjoy about writing.

Imposter syndrome—how can we counter it?

I’m not sure I was really aware of how imposter syndrome (Clance & Imes, 1978) strikes until I became a writer. It impacts upon people from all walks of life and in all sorts of situations, but for me it’s really taken hold since I’ve taken on the official title of “author”—and this is a sentiment I have seen repeated by others in the writing community.

In a nutshell, imposter syndrome involves “a pattern of behavior where people doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent, often internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud” (Dalla-Camina, 2018). This resounds with me and, I’m sure, with many other authors. In a profession that rejection is so intrinsically a part of, perhaps it is difficult to avoid feelings of self-doubt. If you’re persistently feeling inadequate and questioning your abilities, however, it can be difficult to keep going—to keep writing, keep submitting, keep reaching for your goals. Here’s a list of suggestions for how you can help yourself overcome such feelings:

  1. Recognise the persistent negative thinking. You could start by noting down whenever you notice a negative thought popping into your head. This is often the first step I note to counselling clients—if they are able to tell me about and recognise a negative voice in their heads that is repeatedly telling them bad things about themselves, that is the first move towards gaining self-awareness, and with self-awareness comes the ability to  change.
  2. If you’re struggling with being able to pinpoint the negative thoughts, utilise tools such as mindfulness. I have personally found the Headspace app to be very effective, but I’m sure there are many options to choose from. Sometimes all it takes is a few minutes of mindful breathing and relaxing to feel calmer and better able to sort through your thoughts. That may allow you to begin to notice certain patterns of thinking.
  3. Keep a gratitude journal. Being able to reflect on the positive aspects of your writing, and to keep reminding yourself of them, will help to combat those self-doubts. And the more you focus on gratitude, the easier it will become to keep reminding yourself. If you feel the imposter syndrome type worries sneaking in, bring up that gratitude journal and re-read over it.
  4. Notice whether there are any particular triggers to your negative thoughts and self-doubts. It might be that earlier tendency of comparing yourself to others I covered, or something totally separate. Whatever it is, if you notice a pattern then you are more likely to feel prepared to cope as and when you encounter those triggers in future.

Be kind to yourself

This is a piece of advice I give out far more than I implement—and I know it. What is so difficult about being kind to ourselves? I’ve asked counselling clients before whether they would speak to a friend the same way they speak to themselves… at the same time fully recognising the fact that this is an aspect of myself I should confront far more than I do. But I’m going to tell you what I tell my counselling clients: we are all human, we all have tough days, and we all deserve kindness. Self-care is the first step towards feeling that kindness we deserve, and if the earlier sections of this post have resonated with you then I’d argue that you need some self-care, too.

Self-care can look different for everyone. It might be having a bath, going for a walk, sitting in the garden, doing yoga… whatever it is for you, make a concerted effort to do a little something for yourself as regularly as you are able. Schedule it in your diary, if that’ll help. Step away from your laptop, phone, or tablet, and give yourself a breather. Your writing will be there when you get back, and you might just feel better for taking time away from it. From personal experience, I can say that I feel reinvigorated in my writing whenever I allow my mind time to unwind and my thoughts time to calm down.

Writer or not, we are all human and being kind to ourselves is a great step towards improving our mental health.

References

Albert, S. (1977). ‘Temporal comparison theory’. Psychological Review, 84(6), 485–503.

Clance, P. R., & Imes, S. A. (1978). ‘The imposter phenomenon in high achieving women: Dynamics and therapeutic intervention’. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice, 15(3), 241–247.

Dalla-Camina, M. (2018) ‘The Reality of Imposter Syndrome‘.

Hagan, E. (2015) ‘3 Reasons to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others‘.

Krasnova, H., Wenninger, H., Widjaja, T., & Buxmann, P. (2013). Envy on Facebook: a hidden threat to users’ life satisfaction? Proceedings of the 11th international conference on Wirtschaftsinformatik. Universität Leipzig, Germany.

Lee, J. K. (2020) The effects of social comparison orientation on psychological well-being in social networking sites: Serial mediation of perceived social support and self-esteem. Curr Psychol. 2020 Oct 14 : 1–13.

Vaish, A., Grossman, T., and Woodward, A. (2008) Not all emotions are created equal: The negativity bias in social-emotional development. Psychol Bull. 2008 May; 134(3): 383–403.