New Year’s Absolutions 2023

It’s that time again! The time of year when I reflect on the year that was, mentally and emotionally prepare for the year to come, and absolve myself from a selection of ‘must dos’. Life is simply too short to get swept up in ‘must dos’, especially those I have no inclination towards.

Aside: Looking back, I realise that I didn’t do my absolutions for 2022. This time last year was not awesome for me, as was the experience for many of you. I simply wanted to make it to 2022 and do my best to get through the year with my mental health intact (like many of you).

Also, looking back at my 2019 Absolutions, I admit to failing on two counts: I have since joined Instagram and I love Beatsaber, an extremely fun VR game in which you slash musical notes as they come towards you with lightsabers (yes, really and it is just as fun as it sounds and, yes, the tech has improved on stabilisation, so I no longer get sick―hooray!).

Onto next year’s absolutions … I hereby absolve myself from:

Not reading reviews

As authors, we’re constantly told, ‘Don’t read reviews!’ This is excellent advice when you receive a bad review because, as authors know, one bad review equals 10000 excellent reviews. Bad reviews burrow into your brain and nestle there, ready to leap out when you’re feeling your most vulnerable, when you’re crippled by imposter syndrome or awaiting the email that will tell you you’ve successfully pitched your next book and it takes months.

Yet, every time one of my books comes out, I read the early reviews. Every. Review. Every. Day.

Why? Two reasons: I am a masochist and most of my reviews are positive. This means that all those hours I spent labouring over my book have been fruitful, they meant something to someone. Some reviews even induce tears―happy ones. It’s a wondrous thing to have someone gush about how much my story or my characters or my turn of phrase impacted them for the better and how much they love my book.

So, I will continue to read reviews, even the bad ones, like this for my first book, One Summer in Santorini.

Actually, that review and others like it, make me laugh. If ever there was a reason to buy a book it’s because it’s sweary and sexy. And if that’s your thing and you’ve read all mine, check out Aimee Brown.

Paying for a blue checkmark

I have been actively building my Twitter following for years now, and have previously applied for a blue checkmark (when they still meant something). I wasn’t noteworthy enough to earn one a couple of years ago but, until recently, I was still working towards that milestone. While the verified accounts of notable people and organisations are still denoted by a blue checkmark, there’s now a cheaters’ route: the option to pay for one. Blue checkmarks have become the vanity plates of social media. I may still earn one, but I will never pay for one.

Catching up on the entire Marvel Universe

There are too many Marvel movies in the MCU. There, I said it. And because there are so many (and I have a life), I’ve missed a few―Iron Man 2, something about a civil war, a Spiderman or two (even though I’m a HUGE Tom Holland fan), and both Black Panther films. And some that I have seen, I wished I’d missed them. I’m looking at you Thor: The Dark World and Eternals (seriously, though, what the hell was that movie?). I say all this with the caveat that there are some MCU films that I’ve loved. Thor Ragnarok is hilarious and Chris Hemsworth is a massive spunk, especially with short hair. I loved Black Widow because Natasha is a bad-ass (and so is her sis). And Ant-Man is just fun, because … well … Paul Rudd.

Aside: Paul Rudd is the type of guy women both want to sleep with and have as their best friend. Fortunately, I have one of those at home.

So, while Marvel has had some hits, they’ve had enough misses―I mean, is Infinity War called that because the story goes on SO LONG it took two movies to tell it???―that I am absolving myself from watching their back catalogue, and very possibly their front catalogue too. Except Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantamania because (hello?!) PAUL RUDD.

Keeping track of which show is on which streaming service

When are household AIs going to get so good, I can ask, ‘Hey, Google, what the hell streaming service is [INSERT TV SHOW TITLE HERE] showing on?’ and it not only ignores my mildly rude profanity, it replies with, ‘It’s Disney+, which you pay for and share with your mum (who shares her Stan with you), your bestie, your Aunt Jackie (who also shares your Netflix account), and your cousin’s best friend, Sharon (who shares her Amazon Prime account with you)’? That’s what the brilliant minds at Google/Apple/Amazon should be working on.

Thank god I live with (aforementioned Paul Rudd-like) Ben, who not only keeps all of this information in his head, but also 1. sources most the shows I tell him I’m dying to watch and 2. keeps and eye out for shows we can watch together―White LotusYellowstoneThe BearCall My Agent … (Thank you, Ben!)

Joining TikTok (still)

Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy the TikToks my family and friends send me. This one is the funniest thing I saw online this year and it still makes me laugh―EVERY TIME! I hope that family never has to work again for the sheer genius of filming that clip and posting it on TikTok.

BUT I already have two jobs. I work four days a week at my day job in adult education and every day as an author. I’ve published 8 books in less than 4 years and I spend 10-12 hours a week on social media and marketing. I is TIIIIRRRED. And even the thought of creating content for a new social media platform makes me queasy. The people who excel at it work so hard and do such a great job at curating and creating content. Maybe one day when I’m writing fulltime, I’ll consider joining TikTok (or its equivalent), but until then I’m leaving it to the pros.

That’s it. That’s all I absolve myself from for 2023. Wherever you are in the world, I wish you good health, love, laughter, good times with family and friends, grand adventures, and most of all, peace. Take care. Look after you. And happy reading.

Sandy xxx

New Year’s Absolutions 2022

Those of you who have been following my blog for a while will know that each year I write not ‘resolutions’, but ‘absolutions’.

These are the things I absolve myself from doing the following year―GUILT FREE!

Either I will remove them from my mental ‘to do’ list or I will stop doing them because they do not ‘spark joy’. These are the things I have been told―by myself, by loved ones, by society―that I should do but really, really don’t want to.

So, on the list they go!

1. Reading the entire contents of my Kindle

As an avid reader, I have a problem―I cannot say no to books. I buy a lot of books, I get given a lot of books … but I have too many books. TOO MANY BOOKS! Every time I finish a book, I am paralysed by choice as to what to read next. I flick through the (literally) dozens of pages of unread books on my Kindle and often end up tossing it on the bed in frustration and turning on Netflix.

I like choice. Choice is good―there is a book for every mood on my Kindle: spy thriller, (gruesome) crime thriller, LA detective thriller, romcom, contemporary romance, contemporary women’s fiction, literary fiction, historical fiction, historical romance, outback romance, even some fantasy, SciFi and horror …

The thing is, I have at least a dozen unread books in each genre (and sub-genre) taunting me.

In the past few days, I have taken steps to mitigate this paralysing guilt of owning so many unread books. Collections! I have decided my next 3 reads and everything else has gone into a TBR Collection―a neat little folder that I can swipe past all at once on my Kindle’s ‘home’ screen. Now I just need to stop acquiring more books. Hmm.

2. Meditating

In mid-2022, I signed up for a weekly meditation session at work (facilitated by a colleague) to help us cope with the pandemic. Half-way through the first session, conducted via TEAMS, I received a Teams message―apparently ‘urgent’―and I spent the rest of the meditation session putting out a (small) professional fire―essentially, the opposite of meditating.

The thing is, I not only suck at meditating, I (really) dislike it. I spend the whole time chastising myself for sucking at it and not being better at ‘adulting’.

Well, I absolve myself from meditating in 2022 because there are other ways to ‘be mindful’. Any time you are completely immersed in something―reading, dancing, cooking, revelling in natural beauty, combing the beach for the prettiest shell, sipping great wine and really tasting it, playing with a child and making them laugh, in the midst of an in-depth conversation, smashing out a new chapter or editing one―you are being mindful.

So, I aim to be mindful in the way that works for me without beating myself up about how I get to that immersive, blissful state.

3. Watching ‘Squid Game

I tried (2 full episodes) and I hated it (not just the premise but the lead actor’s―in my opinion, terrible―acting). I know it’s considered ‘good TV’ by millions of people but no piece of fiction is for everyone―just ask my readers―so it’s okay that I didn’t like it and that I won’t finish the season.

4. Getting a TikTok account

It’s not that there aren’t many, many entertaining people on TikTok, nor that I haven’t enjoyed the occasional TikTok (I don’t even know if that’s the correct term―are the clips on TikTok called TikToks?) that people have sent to me (case in point, this is hilarious).

It’s that I already spend 5-12 hours a week on social media for author biz. That’s not just posting, but creating assets, and commenting and sharing―and thanking others for commenting and sharing.

I just don’t have room in my life for another social media account. I felt the same way about Snapchat (and I was right about that BTW―remember Snapchat, anyone?)

5. Not making travel plans because ‘what if I have to cancel them?’

This is a double negative, I know.

To be clear, I absolve myself from not making travel plans, which means that 2022 is FILLED with travel plans. Sure, we’re buying the best insurance we can get and we’re mindful (that word again) that any or all of these trips may be cancelled, but for me and Ben, travel IS life.

So, trips on the cards:

  • Southern coast of New South Wales to see friends (who live there)
  • Inland in Victoria to see my cousins (who live there)
  • Up to southern Queensland/norther NSW to see family and friends (who live there)
  • Western Australia to see family (who live there). They have been behind the COVID Curtain implemented by Premier Mark McGowan for so long, I can’t even fly there to be with my mom who is recovering from a serious injury and is bed bound. (Grrrr, Mark!)
  • The UK (!) to: see my family (sis, bro-in-law, nephew) in Rugby and Great-Aunt in Oxfordshire; meet my agent, Lina, and dear friend, Nina, face to face in Edinburgh; attend the Romance Novelists Association 2022 Conference; attend the HarperCollins author party; meet Pearson colleagues in London; meet my editor and other members of the One More Chapter publishing team, also in London; and catch up with other friends across the UK. (It’ll be a long trip.)
  • Sailing the Cyclades Islands in Greece! I am SO excited about this. Ben and I will be sailing with our skipper friend, Patrick―our 3rd time sailing with him. Athens to Syros―8 days, 7 nights―and we’re taking my nephew, who will be 11 by then. (Aside: for those who have read the Holiday Romance series, Patrick is the real-life Duncan, only he’s a Kiwi).

So LOTS to look forward to in 2022, especially as I am absolving myself of so many things that will save me not just time, but angst, guilt, and regret.

And what could be a better way to start the New Year?

Happy 2022, everyone, and may it be filled with reunions, grand adventures, and many moments that will make you smile, fill your heart, and bring you peace and joy.