The Second Drawer

So, here’s the thing. Having made the decision to move to the states at the end of the year, I am kind of already there in my head. I look around my apartment, and mentally take stock: to get rid of, to store, to take with me. The latter of the three lists is growing. “I’m going to have to buy a cheese grater,” I exclaim to a baffled Ben. “You could just bring it with you,” he responds, hoping he is being helpful. Perhaps he is. Perhaps, emptying the second drawer in the kitchen (you know the one – the one with all the utensils and weird kitchen gadgets) into one of the packing cartons I am shipping, is the smart way to go. It might just cost less to ship all those odd little gadgets, than to replace them. And I can hardly expect Ben, who is a self-professed non-cook, to understand my need for a honey drizzler, a citrus reamer, and the little battery operated whizzer that makes hot chocolate in a jiffy. And there is my dilemma: Store or Ship?

Perhaps these frivolities amongst the giants on my ‘to do’ list are merely a distraction. I am obsessing about the citrus reamer, but seem to think that selling my car won’t be a problem at all. Nor will selling, giving away, or lending permanently all my furniture. No, I am up at night wondering which shoes to take, and which to keep here. I informed Ben today that I have ‘quite a few pairs of shoes’. He referenced ‘Sex and the City’ when he asked, “Have you spent $40,000 on shoes?” “No!” He re-phrased the question, “If you had spent $400 on each pair, would you have spent $40,000 on shoes?” I had to think about that for a second, but I was confident when I replied ‘no’ a second time. He is right to be nervous. The stuff from the second drawer here will presumably fit perfectly into the second drawer of our Seattle apartment’s kitchen. The clothes, shoes, coats, bags and accessories currently residing in my 12 foot long closet, I may have to pare back a little.

All of these things, these thoughts, concerns, worries, and reasons to spend hours online researching, are actually an indicator of something bigger, something amazing. I have made a big, happy, wonderful decision, and I am champing at the bit to bring it to fruition.

This is not to say that I do not love those people in my Aussie life. (I am especially enjoying time spent with my Irish friends who have recently moved back to Sydney after two years away – I say that they have moved back ‘home’.) It just means that at the moment, my heart is in two places. I am mindfully enjoying the things (and people) I love about Sydney, while looking ahead to my life in Seattle with Ben.

“We’re going to have to make friends,” he said to me, not long ago. I have thought about that. I would love to pack everyone I love from here into those shipping cartons, to be unpacked into this new life, but…

Instead, we will make new friends, and when they come for dinner I can dazzle them with culinary delights I have whipped up in our new kitchen with my old kitchen gadgets. Yep, I think the second drawer is coming with me.