Catching up with Author Nina Kaye

Thrilled to have one of my dearest author friends back on Off the Beaten Track, marking the publication of her passion project Lucky Number. And what a gorgeous cover!

Welcome back, Nina. Tell us what inspired you to write Lucky Number?

I honestly can’t remember where the idea to have a broken-hearted lottery winner came from. It’s so long ago now! I think it’s perhaps as simple as it just came to me and I loved the idea of addressing the age-old question of ‘can money buy happiness?’ It’s not inspired by personal experience sadly. However, from a practical/writing perspective, Lucky Number is probably the most important book I’ve written (to me anyway). It was the first one I ever wrote and I call it ‘my rehab book’ because I started writing it as a way of rebuilding my cognitive capabilities after a significant health event in my life. The inspiration to put fingertips to keyboard and actually write it rather than just having the idea floating around my head came about very unexpectedly. This excerpt from my Acknowledgements sums it up nicely:  

‘I wanted my life back and it felt like an impossible challenge. That was, until a conversation with an ex-boss of mine, Mel MacIntyre, during which she asked if I was using my time off sick from work to write the book I’d always wanted to write. At first, I was thrown by her question. I was far too unwell for that. But her words stayed with me and the seed that she planted grew into something special, helping me to identify what was missing from my recovery plan: ‘physio’ for my brain.  So, I started writing – just ten to fifteen minutes at a time. It was gruelingly difficult and painful to even sit at a desk, but the thing about me is that I can be a determined little bugger. I kept at it, and as I wrote, it got easier and I could write for longer – until eventually I had written my first ever novel: this book, ‘My rehab book’ or if I’m allowed to be a little dramatic, perhaps even the book that saved me. Because it didn’t just help me recover some of my cognitive capabilities, it gave me a renewed sense of self-belief when I badly needed one.’

So, while the book itself doesn’t have headline-grabbing inspiration behind it, Lucky Number has great personal meaning to me and I always wanted it out in the world. And it is now part of a two-book series (the sequel is called Another Lucky Number).

I note that you’ve gone down the independent publishing route with Lucky Number. Can you say a bit more about that?

Yes, of course. Lucky Number was originally called As Luck Would Have it – in fact, I self-published it back in 2016 (or thereabouts) and then took it down from Amazon six weeks later because I was offered representation by a literary agent (I was also querying at the time). However, despite it being the book that got me an agent, it was never bought by a publisher because it didn’t sit cleanly within any genre. I did get great feedback on it though, and that spurred me on to write more books and eventually become successful in getting traditionally published.

As the series still doesn’t have a clear genre (though there is a delicious romance thread that runs right through it), I decided to put it out there myself and have a proper stab at the indie publishing route this time. Though I love being traditionally published author and all the opportunities and learning that comes with that, I’m someone who enjoys being creative without boundaries and this independent approach allows me more of that. I’m also a doer and being in control of my own destiny quite suits me. I’ve enjoyed taking these stories in the direction I wanted them to go, managing the design of my covers and creating my promotional posts such as the one for my cover reveal. In fact, I’m currently doing the same with a children’s book I’ve written, the main characters of which are based on a couple of clay models I also made during my ‘rehab’ period. I will self-publish that too, hopefully this spring.   

It might seem like an odd move to some but it’s actually been a very deliberate one and one that has been great for my mental wellbeing and sense of fulfilment. I am by no means walking away from the traditionally published route and I guess if I were to have to put a label on my situation, I’ve gone ‘hybrid’.

What’s your most recent read that you’d like to recommend?

This is always a difficult question for me to answer. And if I’m totally honest, one that makes me feel a bit ashamed (though I know I shouldn’t). My cognitive issues, which are part of my health condition make reading difficult for me. I know, that sounds bizarre coming from an author (hence the shame), but I think it’s important to talk about these things. Writing is far easier for me and editing is also not too bad because it’s an active rather than a passive activity. I guess it must use different parts of the brain. But reading is a real challenge – I’m slow, I often struggle to take in the words and I find it difficult to concentrate if I’m not editing at the same time. I even find it challenging reading back my own work, which I’m already familiar with, so tinkering with my work as I go is really the only way to keep myself focused.

Previously, I put a lot of pressure on myself to read the books of other authors to support them and try to keep up (and I really do want to support my fellow authors) but it was creating stress for me and I was becoming over tired, and after my last covid infection I had to admit defeat. I haven’t stopped reading altogether, but I have accepted that it’s something I can’t do a lot of, especially when I’m already working with my own texts. That said, I adore stories and storytelling so I watch TV programmes and films – it’s my way of relaxing. I also recently made a great discovery. As long as I’m doing something to keep my brain active (washing dishes, cleaning, etc), I am able to listen to (and actually take in) audiobooks for short periods – and I really enjoy that.

Sorry, that really was a long way around a short cut! To finally answer your question, an audiobook that I recently listened to and really enjoyed was Mhairi McFarlane’s Between Us. Mhairi’s rise to fame coincided with the worst period of my health issues, so despite hearing great things about her books, I had never read one. And now I’m a fan, like so many others.    

What has been your author highlight over the past year?

I honestly think it’s been my shift towards taking the reins myself on some of my writing projects. It has given me such a boost.

What are you working on now?

Currently, I have a few things on the go. I’m getting Another Lucky Number ready for publication. I have the children’s book I mentioned that I am working on – the aim being to publish that this spring under a different pen name. I’m also about to start querying agents to seek representation for a non-fiction book I’ve written, and I’m working on the second book in a romance series I’m writing as well. It’s a juggling act and obviously not everything is in play at once. 

What do you hope readers will take away from Lucky Number?

I hope it will leave them wanting more because there’s a second instalment. 😊 Sorry, I had to add in a wee plug there. It’s generally a light-hearted easy read, but as with all my books, there is some poignancy and there are some more serious themes hiding in there. I think there’s an opportunity to reflect on the question of money and how important it really is to our happiness, as well as the important role of elderly people in our world and the benefits of having real experiences, not just doing everything virtually.

More about Lucky Number

Her numbers have come up, but can money really buy her happiness?

Emma is stuck in a rut. Her boss is a bully, she’s missed out on a promotion at work and her partner is a sanctimonious git – not that she knows it until he heartlessly dumps her, leaving her homeless. In an unexpected twist of fate, Emma finds herself with a winning lottery ticket. She thinks a bulging bank balance will make all her problems disappear, and the first thing she’s going to do is have some fun by living like a millionaire for a week.

With romance off the agenda for the foreseeable future, a newly carefree Emma embarks on the experience of a lifetime. But between a series of run ins with a handsome yet irritating stranger and finding herself involved in one disaster after another, her life is soon unravelling again.

Will Emma realise that money doesn’t solve everything? And can she untangle herself enough from the mess she’s in to take a chance at real love?

Order Lucky Number here
My thoughts on Lucky Number

Lucky Number is Nina Kaye’s answer to the question ‘Can money really buy me happiness?’ and she does a stellar job in exploring what we think will help us achieve happiness and those aspects that actually form the foundation of happiness – relationships with loved ones.

There are lots of twists and turns as Emma discovers what really matters, wonderful supporting characters, including a very scrummy travel agent, and plenty of Nina Kaye’s trademark humour and poignancy.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

About Nina Kaye

Nina Kaye writes warm, witty and uplifting reads with a deeper edge. She has previously published Stand Up Guy, Just Like That, One Night in Edinburgh, Take A Moment and The Gin Lover’s Guide to Dating. Nina lives in Edinburgh with her husband and much adored side-kick, James. In addition to writing, she enjoys swimming, gin and karaoke (preferably all together in a sunny, seaside destination).

Follow Nina

Instagram | Facebook | Website | Amazon | Bookbub

Thank you again, Nina, and huge congrats on Lucky Number.

New Year’s Absolutions 2024

It’s hard to believe it’s that time again!

The end of 2023 and the time of year when I reflect on the year that was, mentally and emotionally prepare for the year to come, and absolve myself from a selection of ‘must dos’.

My theory is this: life is simply too short to get swept up in ‘must dos’, so why waste precious time torturing myself?

I started writing New Year’s Absolutions in 2011 when I absolved myself from losing a few pounds, buying a bike (I lived in Seattle at the time which is wet and hilly), reading Oprah Book Club selections (still stand by that one), checking work emails at home (of course, we all pretty much work from home now), and finishing a re-write of Chapter 7 of a book that will never see the light of day.

All good absolutions and now onto 2024’s …

Colouring my hair

Those who have been following me through 2023 will have noticed that I am no longer dark (honey) blonde. I am embracing my natural salt and pepper hair and by ’embracing’ I mean: I stopped colouring my hair in May and in September I spent 7 hours (and a LOT of $$$) at the hair salon to make me look like this:

I thought I would wait till my 60s, but the upkeep of being brunette, then light brown, then dark blonde (I’ve been going lighter over the past 5 years) was expensive and exhausting. Like many of my contemporaries, I’m jumping on the silver vixen train!

Joining TikTok (still)

This is a carry over from 2022 and 2021 and even though TikTok has spawned BookTok, which creates instant bestsellers, I’m still not getting an account. As an author, I am already on socials for hours every week. I don’t need to add another platform that requires a light ring and lipstick. Besides, most people who excel at producing content for TikTok, work so hard and do such a great job. Maybe one day when I’m writing fulltime, I’ll consider joining TikTok (or its equivalent), but until then I’m leaving it to the pros.

Keeping all my books

This is going to be a tough one, especially as I am a die-hard book lover (fiction, non-fiction, travel, cookbooks…) and I love creating little ‘vignettes’ on my bookshelves. But unless they’re my books (as in, I wrote them) or they are one of my favourite books of all time, in 2024, I will be letting a lot of my books go, free to good homes.

This is because in 2024, Ben and I will be leaving Melbourne for another round-the-world sabbatical. We will be offloading a lot of our furniture and belongings, and storing only the essentials for our return to Australia. A cookbook I was given in 2001 that I never read doesn’t make the list. And won’t it be fun to fill these shelves again when we return?

Giving up my Twitter (not X) profile

I loved Twitter once. I was an early(ish) adopter, so I was able to snag @SandyBarker as my username. I actively contributed to (mostly) writing communities. I posted daily. I built up my followers (nearing 7000), and it was my primary source of news and information.

Then Elon bought it and broke it like a snotty little brat.

Now I go on once a week or so and retweet my close network’s tweets and perhaps add one of my own. I look at that ugly black X and roll my eyes. And I never in a million years thought I would say this, but my new fave platform is Instagram (I know, right?). But I am not closing my Twitter account. I live in hope that Elon will get bored and sell it to someone who restores what was once good about it and elevates the platform, rather than stomping it into the ground, shoveling on a truckload of manure, and setting it on fire (Like Elon did).

Arguing with people online

There is so much to say about this…

First, I am now in my mid-50s and most women I know in this age bracket are over it. And by ‘it’, I mean ridiculous behaviour, entitlement, lies, stupidity and/or willful ignorance, rudeness, and just plain idiocy. (Noting that many friends and family members from other age brackets and genders are also over it, but I see a prevalence amongst my demographic).

And where are we exposed most to these behaviours? Online.

But here’s what I’ve learnt about people who behave badly online (not an exhaustive list):

  • They want to argue.
  • I will never convince them they are wrong/behaving badly no matter how eloquently I make my point or how correct or salient it is.
  • They believe that the (perceived) anonymity of their online identity entitles them to be their worst selves, even if they’d never do or say these things in person. I say ‘perceived’ because it is SO easy to find out who is behind the profile.
  • THEY ARE NOT WORTH MY TIME OR ENERGY.

The last one is the clincher. These people can suck the joy out of anything. DO NOT ENGAGE!

IMPORTANT: This includes people who are rude or mean when reviewing my books. I’ve said it many times: I know my books are not for everyone; I don’t expect everyone to enjoy my books. I also know that, even though I am writing my 11th book (actually 13th, as I have some side projects), I have MUCH more to learn about writing books, which is why I will continue to read and study the craft as I write.

But there is no reason to be rude or mean when reviewing my books or anyone else’s.

This year, via book reviews, I’ve been accused of plagiarism, and described as a ‘green author’ and an ‘amateur author’ (separate reviews for Books 4 and 9). And one reviewer said she hated my book with a passion, explaining how she hates authors that… [list of sins here].

You know what I say online when I don’t like a book? Nothing. Nada. Nicht. Rien. Niets. I follow the ‘Rule of Thumper’.

And, as ‘arguing with people online’ might require me to say something ‘not nice’, I absolve myself from even going there.

And that’s all for 2024, everyone.

Wherever you are in the world, I wish you a safe and happy 2024, and for some of you, I will see you soon.

Sandy x

Catching up with Author Sheila McClure

It is my pleasure to welcome Sheila McClure to Off the Beaten Track as part of the book blog tour to celebrate her next book (the hilarious, heartwarming and brilliantly fun) SCOTLANDER, out June 21st!

Welcome, Sheila! Tell us what inspired you to write SCOTLANDER?

Hello hello and thanks for having me here. For a while now I have had various people suggesting to me that I look to my own life for inspiration. They were curious…how does a former Hollywood reporter/TV producer end up married to a Scotsman and raising cows? I wanted the story to come with things I had learnt along the way and, of course, hurdles I had to manoeuvre. But I also didn’t want it to be an autobiography. I am not someone who needs the world to know all of my warts (some of them, but not all!). I had also been toying with the idea of superfans and whether their passion for a show/book/film overrode their relationship to reality or whether it was what helped them navigate the pits and falls of reality. And then I came up with Willa – a young woman at a career crossroads who has just endured a painful bereavement. She has lost sight of who she is and where it was she wanted to go in love. What better place to go than an immersive Jacobean experience in the Highlands?

When did you start writing seriously?

I used to write lots of comedy sketches and then I wrote news for about ten years (for TV)…and then, after a couple of years of figuring out if I was a good fit in the world of documentaries, I realised I didn’t want to be observing anymore – I wanted to be participating! (Cue: Handsome Scottish husband who wants to buy a small farm). After a few years learning how to raise pigs and cows and bees and swan diving into the local AmDram club, I decided I needed to finally address a decades old question: Could I actually sit down and finish a book? So…it was about ten or so years ago that I finally typed my first The End. What a day!!! It’s been nine years since I’ve published my first book. And now I have about thirty Mills & Boon and six published novels to my name (don’t ask about the drawer full of the unpublished ones! LOL).

What do you love most about being an author?

Meeting the characters. Going on a journey with them. Getting to know them so well I know exactly what they will say. Editing. (I know, right? I’m a weirdo). Playing ‘what if…’ with my friends on dog walks. Smelling the books when they arrive. 

What are you working on now?

Right now I’m working on the second of two cosy crime novels with Shirley Ballas, head judge of the UK’s Strictly Come Dancing show. They are set in the gloriously glittery, passionate and backstabbing world of professional ballroom dance. So fun. I’ve been able to enter a world that my two left feet would have never seen me joining before, so it’s been a hoot!

What do you hope readers will take away from Scotlander?

Oooo. Good question. I guess I’d like people who have experienced bereavement to find it relatable. Grief can pull the rug out from under you and make you look at life afresh. I have realised life plans change. All the time! And that’s okay. But sometimes you need to square up with your past in order to face the future. And also – cows are great. And potatoes. Baked in a fire. In Scotland.

My thoughts on SCOTLANDER

What a fabulous read! I absolutely adored Willa – a loveable and complex heroine who is suffering from unimaginable heartbreak. And what a surprising love interest – a perfect match for Willa even if it takes both of them (lots of) time to discover that. I laughed a lot reading this book, but there is also SO MUCH HEART. I am also a huge Outlander fan, but I don’t think you need to be to enjoy this ‘fish out of water’, ‘fake date’ romance. It’s fresh and fun and heartwarming. An easy 5 stars from me.

More about the book

From the glitz of LA to the mists of Scotland. Is it true love for Willa or just a Highland fling?

When the Big C takes her best friend too soon, Willa Jenkins struggles to recapture the joy in her life, and all she wants is to get away from LA’s glitzy party circuit. But superfan Valentina had other plans. For her final, wickedly funny act, she’s packing her bestie off on a two-week Outlander-themed experience at Balcraigie Castle, Scotland.

Expecting a couple of weeks with Valentina’s hot brother Gabe, Willa gets more than she bargained for when she’s put to work doing actualreal-life farm work. Not only that, but to get the ‘full’ experience, she’s paired up with the irritating―and irritatingly sexy―Finn, with whom she will pose as fake husband and wife for the next two weeks.

Willa despairs of Valentina’s terrible trick. But then she makes a discovery. Finn’s family might just lose the castle if they can’t make the experience worthwhile for the other attendees. The stakes are high, but as the days pass and the fake 

Out June 21 – Preorder now!

Amazon AU | Amazon UK | Amazon US | Barnes & Noble

About Sheila

Sheila McClure lives in the English countryside with her Scottish husband, their dogs, Harris and Skye, and a small herd of delightfully striped Belted Galloway cattle. Prior to rural life in the UK, she was a camerawoman and news producer for Associated Press Television. As she’s originally from Seattle, she began her working life as a barista. She has also written books as Annie O’Neil and Daisy Tate. She will never refuse a quality dill pickle.

Follow Sheila

Twitter | Instagram | Facebook

Giveaway

Enter the GIVEAWAY (UK only) to win a paperback copy of SCOTLANDER plus a packet of Tunnocks Teacakes.

*Terms and Conditions –UK entries welcome.  The winner will be selected at random via Rafflecopter from all valid entries and will be notified by Twitter and/or email. If no response is received within 7 days then Rachel’s Random Resources reserves the right to select an alternative winner. Open to all entrants aged 18 or over.  Any personal data given as part of the competition entry is used for this purpose only and will not be shared with third parties, with the exception of the winners’ information. This will passed to the giveaway organiser and used only for fulfilment of the prize, after which time Rachel’s Random Resources will delete the data.  I am not responsible for despatch or delivery of the prize.

Thank you to Rachel’s Random Resources for organising the tour. Make sure you catch the rest of it.

Guest Blogger: Jess Hernandez – Authors for Mental Health

It’s a pleasure to welcome Jess Hernandez to Off the Beaten Track today as part of the Authors for Mental Health blog series.

Jess Hernandez is a not only a writer, but also a librarian, teacher and all-around word girl.

When not being used as a human canvas for baby food art, she writes books for kids. Her debut book, First Day of Unicorn School, illustrated by Mariano Epelbaum, was published in 2021 with Capstone. 

Sometimes Jess writes essays, poems, and short stories for grown-ups, too. Jess lives in a very small, very loud house in Washington with her husband, their three children, a puppy and four chickens.

And now over to Jess.

Outrunning My Kidneys

It was an inconvenient time for a breakdown. I was four years into my marriage, five into my career and adulthood was in full swing. I had a dog, a loving husband, car payments, health insurance, and a 401K [superannuation fund]. Things were going pretty much according to plan.

Except I couldn’t have been more miserable if I’d tried.

An average night found me watching Food Network and binge-eating cupcakes on the couch, feeling exhausted and terrified by the things my mind kept telling me. “You’re useless. You’ll never be happy. There’s something wrong with you.” And most pervasively, “What right do you have to feel sad? Nothing really bad has ever happened to you.” For no reason and for every possible reason, it was the absolute worst time of my life.

Using Dr. Google, I tried to cure myself from the outside in. I filled my apartment with houseplants. I took up crochet and started playing the piano again. I prayed and I exercised. When that didn’t work, I quit my job, changed careers, and went back to school. I even moved to a tropical island. (Yes, really.)

But it only made it worse. My very soul hurt, and I fantasised about ways to make it all stop.

Trying to escape my depression was like trying to outrun my kidneys. My job, my apartment, and the weather didn’t make me like this. My brain did, and until I did something about that, nothing would ever change.

So I got help. I got a diagnosis, a therapist, and a prescription. And while the pills have saved my life many times over, the most helpful thing didn’t come in a bottle or on a therapist’s couch.

The best thing I’ve ever done for my depression is to accept it.

Unlike a lot of people, my depression will never go away. It’s not something I’m going to get over or leave behind like an outgrown sweater. I’m permanently and forever mentally ill. It’s part of me, like my crooked nose and bowlegs. I can treat it. I can ignore it. But I’m never going to get rid of it.

It was a tough truth to swallow. I wanted so desperately to be normal again. Every time I felt something like happiness, I wondered, “Is this it? Have I cracked it?” Tentatively, I’d wean myself off pills and declare myself better.

When the darkness inevitably came back, it knocked the wind out of me, and I would grieve the person I once was all over again. It took years, but eventually I learned to understand that this is who I am now. This person who gets hobbled by sadness and gutted by pointless guilt. This is me. I finally kept taking my pills and stopped trying to convince myself I was better. I know now that my depression isn’t going anywhere

It was a hard realisation. But there was some good news, too: there might not be a way out, but there was a way through.

I don’t always feel so bad. Not every day is an uphill slog through endless suck. Instead, it varies. Some days I have depression. It’s like having a cold – a nagging tickle in my throat that I can power through. But some days – not all, but some – depression has me. It kicks me in the teeth and shoves me down the stairs. It stands on my throat and screams in my face. Those days are bad. But I know now they won’t last forever.

What’s more, I survive them. With practice, I learned to see them coming and take cover. I learned to be kind to myself. I talk back to my brain when it tells me I shouldn’t be feeling this way. And I accept that this is not my fault.

Mental illness is not a moral failing or a lack of faith or will power. It’s a straight up medical condition that requires medication, not self-flagellation or guilt. I try forgive myself for being broken and glue myself back together the best I can.

I learned to do it openly, no longer hiding my struggles from people.

At first, I kept my diagnosis to myself. I was scared people would judge or run. Some did. But most didn’t.

Most love and accept me for me. Most wish I’d spoken sooner so they could help. They make space for my illness and try to understand. But that only happened when I stopped being afraid and talked about it. When I did, I discovered I wasn’t nearly as alone as I thought. Instead, my being brave helped others overcome their fear of telling the truth. So I learned to speak up and speak out. I learned there are people I can help.

I’m not saying this is some sort of blessing in disguise. It’s not. But it’s not a death sentence either. I will survive it. I just have to believe that the good things in my life outweigh the daily pain of living. And they do. The biggest things in my life are the good things. And the longer I live, the more good things I have. Like a family and a home and a job I love.

So I stick around.

I keep breathing, even when it hurts. Because there are beautiful things still on the way and I want to be here when they come.

Image ‘Holding You’ by li.fe fotografie. Flickr.

Cover Reveal for A Wedding in Tuscany

I am SO excited to share this with you all, the beautiful cover for my next book, A Wedding in Tuscany.

A Tuscan villa (yellow walls and a terracotta tile roof) sits on top of a hill with a bride walking through an grove of olive trees in the foreground, and another villa and rolling hills covered in vines in the background. Tagline: The ultimate adventure is about to begin.

I mean, seriously, how gorgeous is that? (I think it is my fave cover since Santorini).

This is the final book in the Holiday Romance series and here’s the blurb:

The Parsons sisters are all loved up.

Sarah is living in Sydney with Josh and their cat, Domino, but is anxious about her fast-approaching fortieth birthday.

And Cat is still living in London with her flatmate, Jane, but is in a long-distance relationship with Jean-Luc, her childhood sweetheart and recently re-discovered love.

One of the sisters receives a surprise wedding proposal – it’s a yes! – and everyone heads off to Tuscany for a destination wedding.

Reunite with favourite characters from the Holiday Romance series in one of the most beautiful locations yet for love, laughter, wedding vows, and just a smidge of sisterly mayhem.

I had such a blast writing this book, especially setting it in one of my favourite places in the world. Here’s a few shots from the last time I was there.

A Wedding in Tuscany is out on June 17 (ebook) and September 15 (print) and you can pre-order now. Buy links found here.

To my love

Fifteen years ago, I took myself off to Greece.

I’d been single for several years, dating occasionally but nothing serious as, after two back-to-back relationships with cheaters, I was convinced that all men should f*ck off and die. My status as a late-30s singleton was a concern to many of my family members and well-meaning friends and the topic of far too many conversations. In fact, when I booked the trip, I lost count of the number of time I heard ‘Oh, you might meet someone’.

But I didn’t want to meet someone. At 37, I had met enough someones to know that relationships were not for me. I would lose sight of myself, pretending to be someone I wasn’t just to keep them going.

So imagine my surprise when I said goodbye to two of my oldest and dearest friends, Greek-Australian siblings I’d just spent the week with in Athens and Santorini, and boarded a rickety bus to ride dusty roads to the small port on the southern tip of Santorini – Vlychada – and when I stepped off that bus, I met someone.

‘Are you on the sailing trip,’ said the tall, cute American I’d been watching on the bus.

‘Yep.’

‘Oh, thank god I’m in the right place.’ I smiled at him. ‘Sorry, I’m Ben.’ He held out his hand for me to shake it.

‘Sandy.’ He had a firm handshake and a friendly smile.

‘Should we go find our boat?’ he asked.

‘Sounds good.’

We found the right boat, met the people we’d be sailing with for the next 10 days and embarked on a remarkable friendship. I say ‘remarkable’ because despite have a 10-year age difference, living on different continents and having a vastly different upbringings, professions, and life experiences, I’d met someone who saw the world through similar eyes to mine.

And he was super cute too. See?

Me and Ben, Mykonos 2006

Our friendship turned romantic and by the end of the trip, I knew I wanted him in my life. But how would that work? I lived in Sydney and he lived in St Paul.

Well, we did make it work. We met up to travel together for more than 2 years – Hawaii, New Zealand, a road trip up the West Coast of the US – and then in 2008, we made the (exciting and terrifying) decision to move together to Seattle. There was a ‘hard-to-get’ visa to come by (mine), a job to leave (mine), a job to transfer (Ben’s), and an apartment to find and set up (both of us). There was also a MASSIVE LEAP OF FAITH for Ben to move across the country and me across the world to move in with someone we’d only spent (collectively) 3 months with, face to face.

Cut to 2021.

We’ve lived together in 4 apartments in 2 cities (not counting our 2018 sabbatical, which takes that tally to double digits).

We’ve added dozens more trips to our repertoire (longer international trips, interstate trips to see family and friends and to explore, and shorter local trips to ‘get away’). We’ve taken a year-long sabbatical, living and working in WA, Bali, Seattle, Minnesota, the UK, Edinburgh, and Portugal, and visiting LA, Chicago, Ireland, Wales and Amsterdam.

We’ve tasted wine in regions around the world – Australia, New Zealand, California, the Pacific Northwest, Italy, and Portugal – with many more on our wine tasting bucket list. We’ve been sailing, boating, white water rafting, sky diving, ziplining, abseiling, hiking, water skiing, glacier climbing, snowshoeing, skiing, and paddle-boarding. Ben learnt to surf in Hawaii, but I stayed (safe) on the beach.

We’ve loved 2 kitties – Lucy (sadly, she died in 2015) and Rocky (he found his forever home in 2017)- and are about to bring home a 3rd (disclaimer: no pet’s names have been used in passwords😉). We’ve had several career changes each, and I’ve published 5 books and am about to finish writing my 8th. I’ve gone from being a brunette to a (dark) blonde (really a silver vixen, but not quite ready to embrace that yet) and Ben has gone from a curly-haired cutie to a smooth-headed hottie.

We’ve made lifelong friends together.

We’ve changed, we’ve grown, we’ve evolved and we’ve stayed ourselves.

And the past 2 years, we have spent every day and every night together. And through a pandemic, he is still my person, my someone. There is no other person I could have gotten through this with, babe.

Thank you for your good humour, your sometimes lame, but more often clever jokes, for hugs and laughs and dancing in the living room. Thank you for cleaning our windows so we can at least enjoy the view. Thank you for keeping track of seventy million streaming services and finding fun and interesting things for us to watch. Thank you for letting me teach you backgammon and for the games of gin rummy, even though you almost always beat me. Thank you for reading books about philosophy and thinking and how the mind works, broadening my knowledge and perception both by example and in our fascinating conversations. Thank you for enjoying my cooking, even when I’m phoning it in. Thank you for making the bed each morning, taking out the rubbish, and vacuuming to keep our home a sanctuary. Thank you for walks around the city and listening and understanding when it all gets too much. Thank you for celebrating every minor milestone of my publishing career – and thank you for keeping us well stocked in bubbles for those celebrations.

Thank you for being you. Thank you for being my someone. Happy 15th(!) anniversary.

My inspiration for The Christmas Swap

Out now!

Cover of The Christmas Swap
A beach in the lower half with a couple sitting next to two bathing boxes
A snowy mountainside view in the top half, a couple walking into a ski lodge

I am super excited about this book, as it celebrates one of my favourite times of the year, Christmas. I decided in June last year that I wanted to write a Christmas book, and as I do for all my books, I turned to my own travel experiences for inspiration.

You see, I am an ‘Aus-Meri-Pom’ as my grandma Joan used to call me. I have an English father, and American mother and I was born in Australia. I have lived in all three countries and consider the UK and the US my second homes, especially as I have so many loved ones in both countries.

With so many Christmases to choose from – some snowy, some wintry and cosy (but no snow), many hot, I considered how to pack more than one Christmas into one book.

That’s when I got the idea to have three childhood friends swap Christmases. This way, I could dive into what makes each one special, seeing each Christmas through fresh eyes.

The UK

My sister, brother-in-law, nephew, and great aunt all live in the UK, and we’ve had a couple of (lovely) Christmases with them in recent years (in 2014 and 2108). I LOVE how beautifully and traditionally Christmas is celebrated in the UK. Yes, we had chocolate oranges in our stockings; yes, we had plum pudding and brandy sauce; yes, we went to Christmas Fairs and Winter Wonderland, and sipped mulled wine and hot chocolate; yes, we watched the Queen’s speech; and yes, we even had a(n early) traditional Christmas lunch in a 500 year year old pub! All the yeses to this kind of Christmas.

The US

I’ve also had many Christmases in the US, but one that has stuck with me all these years is the Christmas I visited a dear friend and his (lovely extended family at their mountain cabin in Colorado, then met up with my partner, Ben, for a ski trip to Breckenridge and New Year’s in Denver.

It is a stunning part of the world, and Breckenridge is one of those towns that looks like a filmset of a Christmas movie. These pics are from our drive into town.

And this was the “cabin” we stayed in for Christmas:

Large log cabin nestled in the snow surrounded by fir trees

There were 13 of us for Christmas – and we all had beds, with some to spare! Me in Colorado, all rugged up. Look at those mountains and that sky!

Australia

Most of my 51 Christmases, however, have been in Australia. It’s hot, sometimes swelteringly so, and we celebrate traditions that are as much about the family gathering together in summertime as they are about the holiday.

I always make a pav(lova).

We have a fake, but festive, tree (thanks to Ben for the gorgeous pic on the left).

There are salads, fruit platters, champagne (lots of bubbly), Christmas carols (even the snowy ones), some sort of roast, cheese platters, maybe a baked salmon, or some prawns or crayfish on the barbie, and I’ll always bake my fave Chrissie bikkies, Russian Tea Cakes (recipe for you).

We go to the beach, play boules after lunch, call our loved ones far and wide, play games out on the veranda, like Trivial Pursuit and Cards Against Humanity, while we sip crisp, white Aussie wine – you, know, Christmassy, family stuff – Aussie style.

With my dad and step-mum at Light’s Beach, Denmark, Western Australia

I absolutely LOVE Christmas, and if you do too, I hope you will love The Christmas Swap (buy links included). It’s out now!

Settling back in

It’s been four months since Ben and I moved back to Melbourne post-sabbatical, and it has been anything but dull.

Since arriving in late January:

We apartment hunted for the perfect rental and were elated to get a place in the heart of the city with an incredible view. It has an office for me, enough space for Ben’s VR set-up, a guest room, a winter garden and a wrap around balcony. I love it.

IMG_20190215_215006
our view

I job-hunted and landed a plum role in professional development (a field I love) at my pre-sabbatical employer, which just happens to be across the street. As in, my commute is about one minute (please don’t hate me). So far, I haven’t bothered to wear a coat or take an umbrella, because, well, one minute – plus most of the walk is under cover. My work has already taken me to Adelaide (twice) and I work with incredibly smart people, who maintain an impressive chocolate stash in the office (this may be why I choose to work from home a couple of days per week – too much temptation).

This was my desk when I arrived at work on my birthday.

birthday desk

Ben has become an Australian! I wept like a weeping willow throughout the ceremony, but at least had the presence of mind to take photos. When the Lord Mayor of Melbourne had the Aussies in the gallery stand up and make the oath to Australia, just like the newly-minted Australians, I could barely get the words out. #ProudAussie #SoProudofBen

New Aussie

We’ve caught up with friends. Our friends in Melbourne are our family-away-from-family and we adore them. Especially fab are the ones who popped around to put together flat-pack furniture, although they all assured me that they love doing it (weird). My bestie personally made our couch from scratch – impressive stuff. I promise I plied them all with good food and booze for their efforts.

Lindsey

We’ve had visitors! We love having people come and stay with us. The most recent guests spent the week of my birthday with us, my dad and step-mum. They helped me celebrate a milestone birthday with style. Here’s my pre-party dad rocking a fab new outfit at the age of 71.

my dad

We’ve planned a trip across the country. This week we head of to my home state of WA to celebrate some more milestone birthdays in the family, and my belated birthday trip. (I have pretty much perfected the concept of the birthday festival, which can extended several weeks in either direction from my actual birthday.) We’ll be catching up with family and friends and then heading south to the stunning wine region of Margaret River. I’ve checked the forecast and can’t believe that the first week of June (winter down here in Oz) will be sunny and 25C (high 70s).

WA
From our last time in WA

Maybe not so surprisingly, we haven’t been in a hurry to travel. Home is so precious to us post-sabbatical. This is our first trip together since we landed back in the country in January.

And there’s the author stuff. I’ve secured an agent; I’ve written more than half of my fourth book; I’ve edited my first book for my publisher, Avon Books; I’ve been marketing my little bum off: organising a book blog tour with my agent, doing interviews, securing quotes from other (amazingly supportive) authors, planning a book signing, and engaging with readers daily on social media; and I have celebrated all the little milestones on the journey to publication – T-minus 3 weeks and 6 days for the ebook and just under two months from the print version being in my eager little hands. Squee!

One Summer In Santorini - Sandy Barker

So, yes, 2019 has been an incredible ride so far. We’re looking forward to the rest of it.

 

The home stretch of sabbatical life

In 1979 and 1980, my dad and his then-partner embarked on long-term travel. Their trip included a 3-month drive from Cape Town to Cairo on a giant pink truck with a handful of other travellers, working on a Kibbutz in Israel, and buying a camper van and travelling in the UK and Europe while they picked up intermittent teaching work.

Essentially, they took a sabbatical, only when I think about what they did and when they did it, theirs was quite a bit more bad-ass than ours. Just quietly, my dad is one of my heroes. This is him.

We are ten months into a year-long sabbatical, and I recently posted on Facebook that I was having a ‘travel weary’ day, that I knew the funk wouldn’t last, but at that moment, I just wanted to go home.

One friend asked, “Where’s that?” and it was a good question. I have talked a lot this year about home being wherever lay my head (and where Ben is). I replied, “Just Australia.”

My dad’s comment on the post drew on his own long-term travel. “Once you sense the finish line, you just want to go. Hang in there.”

A friend, who last year completed a year’s sabbatical with her husband, posted, “Been there. Sending love.”

I don’t post this to complain.

This year has been brilliant. When Ben and I look back on the last ten months and all we’ve seen, the people we have met and reconnected with, the places we’ve been to, and all we’ve done and accomplished, it brings us a lot of happiness – even some pride.

But there are two months left, and I do not want to fritter those away by wallowing in homesickness. Ben and I are united in the belief that we are privileged and brave and must make the absolute most of every day for the next two months.

So, with that in mind, we will continue to get out and see Porto and enjoy the beauty and wonder it has to offer us. We will have a brilliant time with our family in the UK over Christmas and New Year. We will add a side trip or two – Wales looks likely, as does a return to London. We will plan out something spectacular for January (our swan song). And I will finish my third novel.

So again, I do not write this to complain, but to share the reality of sabbatical life. Sometimes, you just want to be home.

 

You can go home again

Nearly ten years ago, I moved from Sydney to Seattle. Ben and I had been dating long distance for more than 2 years and we wanted to live on the same continent and in the same city.

Seattle was a big move for both of us – Ben was moving from Minnesota – but we’d visited together before the move and knew we liked it. So, we took the leap and signed a lease, hoping that we could live together as well as we travelled together.

Ben moved several months ahead of me to get us an apartment and to get settled in his new role with the same company. In that time, he also managed to get us a new group of friends.

By the time I arrived in late 2008, Ben had been welcomed into a group of 20- and 30-somethings who had moved to Seattle from around the country, and a couple of people who are Seattle natives (a rare find).

Less than a week after my arrival, a lovely couple, Jeff (from Iowa) and Lauren (from California), threw a ‘Welcome Sandy to Seattle’ party.

I also got a few comments that suggested that some people were surprised that Ben really did have an Australian girlfriend – which made me laugh – but on the whole I was warmly welcomed and immediately felt at home with this incredible group of people, all of whom are still close friends.

Flash forward to May 2018: Ben and I are in Seattle for a couple of weeks before we head to Minnesota for the summer. We’ve both been back since we moved to Australia five years ago, but this is our first time back here together.

We’ve thoroughly enjoyed seeing our old stomping ground – what’s changed, what hasn’t – as well as catching up with the many, many people here that we love.

We have family here, Ben’s aunt and uncle, and his cousins who have families of their own. We have friends we made at work, the friends who attended that very first party, and those we know through them. We were very fortunate to have such a wonderful network of people for the four years we lived here.

It’s been important to us to maintain those relationships, even though we’re so far away. And, I’m very glad we have.

Since being back, we’ve met the many children who have been born since we left, tiny versions of our friends who we’ve watched grow up on Facebook, but who initially eye us warily until they warm up to us.

With our friends and family, we’ve caught up on travel adventures, houses sold and bought, health challenges, plans to move out of Seattle, plans to stay put, job changes, political bafflement, and the everyday stuff that we don’t get to talk about unless we’re face to face.

It’s been been brilliant, a top-up for the soul.

Someone back in Australia asked if Seattle feels like home. And it does – but mostly, that’s because of the people, our Seattle peeps.