Diner’s Regret

This will be short and sweet.  I’ve coined a phrase. 

Yesterday as we left a delicious lunch, my father rubbed his full stomach, and bemoaned finishing both his entree and main.  “I enjoyed it, but I shouldn’t have had the lamb shank and kidney pie.  I should have had something lighter.” 

“Do you have ‘diner’s regret’ Dad?”

“Yes, Darling,” replied my bemused father.

Then we agreed that ‘diner’s regret’ is a perfect phrase to describe a myriad of post-dining states.

‘Diner’s regret’ can refer to those instances where your eyes are bigger than your stomach, but you ignore the groans from down below, and keep eating every tasty morsel.  The regret kicks in about an hour later, when you want to go somewhere private, undo your waistband and loll about until the feeling passes.

‘Diner’s regret’ can also follow ‘menu envy’.  This is where everyone’s food arrives to the table, and you look across with envy.  “Ooh, that looks good,” you say, eyeing off the plate of food opposite you.  From here ‘menu envy’ can dissolve as soon as you take your first bite, and reaffirm your selection despite a brief moment of doubt. 

OR, it can take you to the dark place of ‘diner’s regret’, and you will spend the rest of the evening regretting your stupidity.  You should have known better.  You should have ordered the chicken.

On rarer occasions, ‘diner’s regret’ can just mean that the place sucked, the food sucked, the service sucked, and you were a sucker for paying for that meal.

Yes, ‘diner’s regret’ is a commonality that connects us all.  Next time someone says to you, “I have diner’s regret,” you can nod, and reply, “I feel your pain”.

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2 thoughts on “Diner’s Regret

  1. Love your new stories. Got Steve to read this one too. He said “She writes awesome!” Only a man that cute can get away with consistently bad grammar. But yes, we liked it a lot and it reminds me of an article I might read in Voyeur as I flick through their mag on the flight. Surely someone in Seattle will take you on as a writer. Look forward to catching up with you when you get back.

  2. He he, great post! I often have diner’s regret from menu envy – so much so that now it’s a running joke that I wait for my husband to order his dish and then I order the same! He can’t stand it. Do you blame him? He thought he’d married an independent woman of the world!!

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